A Strong Single Mom


Dear Quick-to-Judge

I see you — staring at me with a baby on my hip, It’s obvious I’m “a little frantic.”

I see how fast you judge me and how quickly your eyes go to my wedding finger.

There’s no ring on there. Trust me I’ve checked.

But don’t feel sorry for me, don’t think my life is a wreck, that I was forced in this unfortunate predicament, or that I was irresponsible.

No, no.

I am PROUD of my decisions and my life.

I’m PROUD of the woman I’ve become.

I’m PROUD of the child I’m raising.

What if I told you I was previously engaged?

What if I told you the entire wedding was planned?

What if I told you I was unhappy for a long time and CHOSE my current life?

Would that make a difference?

I think it would.

I look at your life and wonder if you’re happy with the life you’re living, with the relationship you’re in, and the routine you put yourself through every day. Does that ring on your finger and those family photos in the hall simply show that you’re happy?

I see the judgement on a daily — ahem, I mean on an hourly basis. Everywhere I go I’m certain to get a judgy look from someone. I’m not condoning anyone to go out and become a single mom on a whim; it’s tough as shit. But every day I learn a little more about myself, I know what I like and what I don’t. I’ve become extremely resilient and mentally tough as nails. I do it all on my own and because of that I become more and more the woman I was meant to be.

So stop the judging. Stop feeling sorry. I feel sorry for anyone stuck in a loveless relationship with no strength to discover what they’re really made of.

 

xo,

CupKate

 

The love of my life
The love of my life

21Comments

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  1. 7
    Jason

    As a single Dad, I deal with the judgement regularly. The “I wonder what he did wrong” looks. The “he must have cheated and she left” looks. Nothing is more fulfilling then seeing your little one growing up and knowing you did it on your own. I don’t know you but it is obvious you are a great Mom and a great woman. Well done.

  2. 9
    Chris

    i haven’t been following you on IG very long but you seem to be an amazing mom. Never let the haters get to you, I know you probably inspire a lot of single moms out there.

  3. 11
    Jason

    You are always an inspiration! Thank you for looking through all the “crud” out there, seeing the good and sharing that experience with all of us.

  4. 13
    Laura Espinoza

    Baby girl I am SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU! From the day I met you and your family do you were special. You have AMAZING parents who support you and thought you what love is and to be kind and caring to others. This is what you are showing your sweet boy. You are an AMAZING Mother, Women, Friend, Child of God! You my sweet girl HAVE GREATNESS WITHIN!!!
    I want to let you know that WE ARE HERE IF YOU NEED US!

    Love You
    Mama Espi

  5. 15
    Jack

    “Let no one think of me as humble or weak or passive. Let them understand that I am of a different kind: dangerous to my enemies, Loyal to my friends. To such a life glory belongs.”- Euripides, Medea (431 BC)
    Keep being awesome. It’s contagious.

  6. 17
    Tim Buffington

    Hey girl , I think that the words you speak are very strong . You are an amazing woman and mother …. Your independence is noticed and very well respected . In the world today you and I know the things we face on a daily basis . You seem to have a lot of Faith which is what gets us through all the things in life . Just know this , I have not judged you and will never do that for I myself do not want to be either . Keep the faith and know that Gods will shall be done ….. Your amazing to me !

  7. 19
    Hilary

    Thank you for the blog. It is inspiring me and making me think about a relationship I have been in and out of for almost a month. You are a strong woman and don’t let other people tell you otherwise. I hope your strength can rub off on me. I admire you.

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