There’s this really weird look I get when I tell people I’m still friends with my ex, or as I like to call him, My Baby Daddy (side note: he calls me Baby Momma). It’s a bit like a deer in headlights or that I’m about to say “JUST KIDDING” and walk away. But it’s actually the truth. We are truly some kick ass co-parents and I’m proud to say that.
Without ruining the happy tone of this blog, we didn’t work out as a romantic relationship, but we have an amazing child together whom we both love SO MUCH!
Kids are a commitment from the second you find out you’re having one. No matter how old they get, they will always be your child, they will always be your #1 commitment. Being a parent to your child isn’t contingent on your romantic relationship. It’s a forever commitment, through the good times and the bad times. No matter what happens in the world, they will always be your baby.
That mindset is what keeps my BD (Baby Daddy) and I on good terms. We put our son above silly things like pride and jealousy. Cash deserves both his parents in his life, he doesn’t need to worry who he’ll invite to major holidays and birthdays, and he’ll never have to wonder the “why’s.” He’ll get to live like a child who is loved unconditionally and have so many memories with both mom + dad
I’m always getting asked, “how do you do it?” It wasn’t easy at first and I know there will still be plenty of bumps in the road – new relationships, possibility of one of us having more children, job changes, moves, schools, etc. It’s a tough road ahead of us but any great parent knows, you would go to the end of the world and back for them. The love they give us back is worth it all!!
Anywho, this is how we make it work:
- “Serious” talks are NOT in front of the children. EVER.
- No bad mouthing the other parent. It’s fine to talk objectively and express how you’re feeling to those close to you but the world doesn’t need to know your baby momma drama so SHUSHH
- Keep a consistent-ish schedule. Things come up so be able to go with the flow sometimes. Consistency is good but the ability to work together is better.
- Repeat details of pick ups, drop offs, schedule changes, etc. Texting is a God send. There is literally never an excuse for miscommunication.
- A shared iCal. Seriously. We share a calendar of all family activities and work schedules that syncs to the others phone. Genius.
- Look at your “ex” as a partner parent. “Ex” holds such negative meaning.
- Treat your partner parent with the same RESPECT you wish to receive.
- Never give up. Do everything with a kind heart.
Feel free to leave a comment, story, or kind note. I love reading them!